Tuesday, January 26, 2010

songs just say it better

does this exist?

Feel like I get more and more covered by a blanket of Jade. If I can find the quote that Orlando gives her near the end of the movie...when he finds out she's getting back together with her ex-husband I'd rather post that. It was exactly what I would have liked to have told Wheelin. But this video...is my wishfull thinking for now



Update---I found the quote...but not a video of it. "What do you want me to say; we can be friends? You don’t get it. When you really love someone you can’t just be their friend. And I don’t want half of you."

Friday, January 22, 2010

Don't bother


Just needed to vent. Don't really want to hear any body's advice, I feel stupid enough already. Decided for the millionth time that I want to distance myself from Wheelin. I can't handle him telling me one minute something (that makes me think he really likes me) then the next minute something else that makes me think its all in my head. I freaking like the idiot and really wish I didn't. He can be a really great friend, but I'm not sure I can be his friend anymore. I don't want to see him with someone else...not the psycho "If I can't have you no one else can"...but the man that really hurts to see you love someone else when that was all I wanted from you. =) have enough fun watching my ex-husband do that. Don't need an encore performance from someone else.

Every time I pull away from Wheelin is when he decides to tell me how much he likes me or that he doesn't want to lose me to someone else. I've told him before how he doesn't make sense to me. Then the other day his text says ""it doesn't make sense" based on how I treat u, look at u, and how things ACTUALLY are".

Told him I'm sick of this, I don't want to deal with this anymore. Just want him out of my life. Told him I can't handle him touching me anymore...that it's almost like I'm hypersensitive to his touch...that I feel exactly where every finger of his is on me, that I can't even handle looking at him anymore when he hugs me because I just want to kiss him. His response "well maybe I need to not touch you then." So now his argument is he wants to keep me as a friend and that he wants me to reprogram. "Why don't you look at it as being done liking me like that, future with us, pursuing me, parts, instead of completely done?" Loved that. All I really wanted was a shot. A real shot.

If anyone does end up reading this...my question is how many of you have fallen in love with someone, been turned down and then stayed friends with them? How did you do it? Any regrets either way?

true?

Thursday, January 7, 2010