Where are you?

Written on my LJ blog over a year ago:

Every now and then i have fantasies of the guy I'm suppose to be with. Like right now i was thinking on how every time I'm dating someone they always start talking about marriage and how they want to marry me. Sometimes I think they only say that because thats what girls want to hear. The man I'm suppose to be with wouldn't have to tell me that they love me right away or that they want to marry me...

As I'm writing this I'm figuring out that maybe I don't like people telling me so quickly that they love me or want to get married to me because I don't feel that way about them. Marriage has never been my ultimate goal. Only happiness. Even with Chris when we got engaged I set the wedding date for 2 1/2 years later.

Mr. Right, would know me better than anyone else ever has. He would know me good enough to know that I would always tell him the truth if he ever needed to know something or asked about anything. He would know how to deal with my mom. He would make me want to be a better person. He would love to challenge me and joke around with me. I would respect him and he would make me feel so secure in his love. He would be a man of his word. He would know exactly what to say when I'm feeling down or need a swift kick in the butt. He would argue with me but concede if he knew my answer was better...keep fighting if he thought his was and I would concede. He would surprise me. My birthday would be one of the most important days to him. He would have friends and guys nights. I would never have to worry that he was out there being disrespectful of his love to me. He would love sports and we would go to games. He would be handy around the house. He would get me flowers to cheer me up or make me smile...not because he was in the dog house. People could just look at him and see how in love we are with eachother, just by the smile on his face. He would take care of me, since I'm so bad at it. He's affectionate. He'll try anything I make. He's protective of me. He wants to see the world. He would do things just because they make me happy.